Love is Work and Power

Today I want to take a moment to reflect on the love of my life, and my marriage. I am going to share information strictly from a first person perspective, and hope I don't come off like I know everything and have life figured out. I base my entries strictly on my own understanding, and experience. Over the last 7 years, I have only had the opportunity to see a fleck of who David really is as a person. I say a fleck because there is so much depth to a personality and a soul. He is an amazing man, and I admire him intensely. He is my shoulder to cry on everyday. He is my lifeline whenever I am lost, or struggling. He is my comedian when I make mistakes. He is my ladder when I climb to new peaks. He is my love when I feel insecure. As Jesus' highest compliment, I can proudly say he is most importantly my friend. I look forward to many more years, seeing more of who David is and who he will become.

Many people who see us from a far think we are so lucky. I would consider us to be blessed rather than lucky, but we experience trials and struggles just as anyone else. We have experienced hurdles that at the time led us to believe it was the end. When I first married David, I expected so much of him. I think it was those expectations, that led to struggle and conflict in our marriage. Communication was often the downfall of our progression. I think each person who gets into a serious relationship goes through something like this. They say that the first year is the hardest, but for us the hard work never stopped. Marriage is such an interesting topic in today's world. We see the acceptance of gay relationships in the news, movies, TV shows and music we listen to everyday. We have divorces climbing to the top of the conversation in most of my family and friends' lives. I don't think I know a single individual who is not affected by a divorce or gay relationship. So why is it so culturally accepted? Why are people unable to stay married, and accept that marriage is intended to work between a man and a woman? Who the heck knows! It is against everything I know as a human being and as a daughter of God. Marriage is not a fad! It is not a light switch that can be turned on and off, it is not all about how you feel and whether or not you get your fairy tale ending every day. Most of all marriage never will be and never should be a convenience. Marriage is hard work every single day, and I continue to work at it still 7 years after my happily ever after. David and I disagree on almost everything we can think of, but we love each other no matter what. We accept the best and worst qualities in each other, and we make it a point to not hide those parts of ourselves. We have learned things the hardest way possible sometimes, but that is what makes us stronger. When I want to give up, he wants to succeed all that much more. We are a strong couple, and anyone can have a relationship just as strong. But no one will help you build it, you have to do the leg work entirely. 

Love is not based on time, it is based on work. I remember back in high school being asked by a very wise teacher, "what will you do if your spouse ..." there was a list of horrid things that you could choose from. Like leave the church, have an affair, have an addiction etc. I remember thinking that as long as my spouse was willing to work towards repentance, I could always forgive. But more importantly I remember thinking specifically "divorce is not an option". I think that marriage is something that is more sacred than any act, or choice we ever make in our lives. It should be respected as such, and it should be understood as such. Whether you are religious or not, I truly do believe that. When you take the sacredness out of it, it has no meaning, potential or power. I love David with my entire soul, and I will never turn away or divert from this relationship. I tell people we were built strong in the beginning, because our kids will be terrible teenagers! We will have to see about that, but they are great boys now! I hope that David and everyone else who knows me, can see that from me whether near or far in spectation. I live by my example, even when I have only the Lord showing me how to.